Can't deal with the pain...

Worth a listen
Avant - Material things

Well, I don't feel good right now. I've got a lot of emotions I needed to let out. I'm seriously going crazy. This whole month has been HELL. I never could have imagined the pain I'd feel over 3 years ago. It's so damn hard to move on when you don't want to. Forcing myself is not easy. Pushing out and letting go of my feelings is like pushing an elephant through a doorway. I don't know what's going to happen to me and I'm scared. Everyday the stress get immeasurably worst & worst. The bad part is the infidelity I'm sensing. I hope its not true 'cause I don't what'll happen to me...
____________

can't tell the difference between my tears & the rain
as I stand against my will to endure the pain
I feel throbbing deep within my chest
where my heavy heart keeps asking for a rest
from the continuous stress it seems to encounter
with every distraction I make to get my mind off her
I don't know what to do with my suffering mind
thought I could use this time to relax & unwind
but I can't even think straight
& fail to concentrate as I contemplate
whether or not those feelings are still there
'cause I wouldn't dare to come near
if they don't reside or still linger somewhere in your heart
unpleasant & uneasy thoughts race in my head where I lie in the dark
praying to God to send me a sign
to help me ease the pain I feel inside
'cause I knew I was going to hurt when chose to keep hope alive
don't shoot it down because I know I still want you part of my life...
-Reeve