January 4, 2010

"Don't compare me to your ex man...

...baby, he a local joker."
December 31st Thursday
Better late than never. Thoughts about 2009? Got plenty. Started off really bad, completely awful. I was going through a difficult break up and trying to get used to the fact that I was so isolated from my friends. Boy, I never thought I'd be so down. Going into January was really hard 'cause I let everything go; I let it all out at one time. So, I basically started with a clean slate.

As the months passed, I gradually got better. I welcomed a new person in my life, my Goddaughter Alyssa. Things seemed to be going well, connected a lot more with relatives that I haven't really been close with that helped me get back in the right direction. There were a few bumps in the road, some big ones that can't go unnoticed as well. Sometimes you're left with some HOPE and you optimistically try to build around that, but there are just some things in life that take HOPE away. I guess when that happens, you learn a lot about yourself and see yourself grow.

What I'm trying to say is that I feel like I've matured and loved myself more than I did. 2009 was a year where I depended on myself more often and become an independent individual. In a way, I needed to go through what I did in 2009 to better myself and to prove to myself that I can be happy on my own. It feels like a big stepping stone in that I didn't have to rely on someone else to be happy and that experience only helps to make me a stronger person.

I can't tell you how important my family is to me. It's honestly the first time I went to my family for support for anything in my life. I realize that the only person that loves me unconditionally is my mom. Without her, I'm nothing. No matter what happens, she's there. Stupid shit I've done in middle/high school that hurt her truly makes me regret everything. I love my mom and she's my inspiration to do well in school and graduate. The rest of my family: cousins, aunties, uncles, etc. are just awesome. Couldn't ask for a better family.

As for my friends, I know I hadn't been close with them as I would have liked the past 2-3 years, but I love them. It's hard to come up with words to describe how helpful they were to me. I'm mad at myself for not going the extra mile to keep in touch with them, 2010 will be different. All I can ask of them is just be safe and stay positive.

I think I've rambled along a lil' too much, but overall 2009 was nice. From being hella crappy to ending up great, I couldn't ask for a better opportunity to change. Hope the positives of your 2009 outweighed the negatives. =]

3 Songs to Describe My 2009
#1 Jamie Foxx "Blame It"
#2 Keri Hilson "Knock You Down"
#3 Mario "Break Up"

Last photo of 2009

January 1st Friday
NYE was not exciting at all. Posted at the house and stayed up for the countdown. Grubbed and played Band Hero before knocking out. Didn't go to church and pretty much stayed home. Went to the mall, which was a failure 'cause the stores closed early. Bad 1st day of 2010...

First photo of 2010

January 2nd Saturday
2010 Hail Mary's Rancho Penasquitos at my Auntie's house. Basically, families came by to the house and prayed. Each family prayed like 100 Hail Mary's and wrote a petition, which was later burned in a pot so that whatever you wrote would come true this year. Chilled at the for practically the whole day. An okay 2nd day, but it could have been better..

Sex in crazy places Gucci mane